"Ain't nobody got time for no fundamental shifts..."

Ouch... In a shot heard round the world, Mary Jane Patterson spoke these words to new beau, Sheldon.  As you probably already know, on the Season 2 finale that aired on Tuesday, April 14th, Mary Jane had "the conversation" with her "boyfriend" Sheldon, and listened as he tried to encourage her to take the road less traveled to coupledom.  While Sheldon tried to convince Mary Jane that a monogamous relationship does not necessarily equal cohabitation, Mary Jane tried to convince herself that she was not crazy and delusional for thinking that this relationship could have been something.  But as Mary Jane fought back (with the applause of women across the world no doubt resonating in her ear) I wondered.  What is wrong with marriage without cohabitation?  Is it necessary for married couples to actually live together?  Is it time for women, especially Black women to consider a "fundamental shift"?

Traditionally, married people are expected to live together right?  "First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes baby in a baby carriage" yada, yada, yada.  But what if women are limiting their options in a partner by refusing to make a "fundamental shift"?  If we are to believe the statistics that state that only 42-45% of Black women in America are married, a "fundamental shift" in the way we view relationships, marriage, monogamy, and cohabitation is imperative.  Disclosure:  I married when I was 35 years old.  Me and my spouse are both educated, hold graduate/postgraduate degrees, and are professionals in our careers.  We were fiercely in love when we got married and knew that we could not live another day without the other.  But the day after the wedding, we went to our respective homes and stayed separate for over a year after that. We live together now, but living together was NEVER the plan for us.  And if I was to tell the truth, living apart in the early part of our marriage was blissful.  We still behaved like children holding the phone to our ears, listening to the other snore, creating a rhythm that still defines our sleep today.  We had "date" nights, on which I would "spend the night" as if it was our first date and leave early in the morning lest I be seen participating in a walk of shame.  We cherished the time we had together, and seemingly, cherished each other a little bit more then.

On the last episode of "Being Mary Jane" Sheldon rationalized to Mary Jane " I'm over 50 years old and I like things the way I like them", but she was not receptive at all.  But as a professional woman, nearing 40 years old, with her own home, and an ever-consuming career, she also likes things the way she likes them, right?  As women are waiting longer and longer to settle down and get married, the flexibility that made us so willing to compromise in our twenties has been replaced by wisdom, experience, heartbreak and living.  We know how we like our coffee, we know our preference in wine, we have grown-up clothes in our closets, and we have one dish that has become our specialty. So, you fall in love and have to compromise what has worked for so long?  Why?  Although women have made "fundamental shifts" in the method they choose to conceive a child, the age they decide to become mothers, and the choice to delay marriage and motherhood to chase a career, yet we still maintain the same ideology about marriage and cohabitation?  A "fundamental shift" is not needed.  A reality check is, though.

Your thoughts? Please leave them below.


Shopaholics Suite....

Hey ladies!

I am coming out of hibernation to sell a few of my wares...

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Please come out and support this event.  Curvy bloggers, curvy clothing, curvy women.  See you there...



August is upon us already.  And although some consider this the pinnacle of summer, truthfully, we are all thinking about Autumn right about now.  As a teacher, I have summers off, so August is my month to really buckle down and get back into work mode.  And with the transition from Summer to Autumn, I am always thinking of how to stretch my Summer wardrobe into Fall without having to purchase a whole new wardrobe.  Or course, layers are a lifesaver when transitioning to cooler weather, but shoes can be an issue.  Every female loves to show their toes in summer with sandals, but when the temperature drops, sandals are not the most practical option.  In comes the every season shoe - the peeptoe Bootie. Wear them in summer with sundresses, skirts, shorts, and flowy pants.  When cold weather approaches, throw on a pair of cute socks, colorful tights, and pair them with your favorite fall ensemble!
I am the queen of peeptoe Booties.  Because they allow your toes to be free, they are completely appropriate for summer, but because the majority  of your foot is covered, they provide warmth in the Fall/Winter seasons.  Brilliant, right?...  And there is something so badass about having the nerve to cut the toe completely out of a boot.  Here, my collection of peeptoe booties. And no, one pair and one style is not enough. Ha!

Jeffrey Campbell boots
I got these when Angel Laws, blogger and founder of Concrete Loop, decided to sell wares form her closet.  A steal. (People are always selling things on Instagram. These were brand new!  And for a fraction of the original price. )

 Nine West Highland boot
These booties with cutouts has been a mainstay this summer.  I have worn them with EVERYTHING... On sale in several different colors now. Follow the link.

Steve Madden Scandlus Bootie. (On sale now at Lord and Taylor)
Okay, I bought these very early in the year.  They went on sale for 60% at Nordstrom several months later, and I was bummed.  I called Nordstrom, told them that I wanted a discount and they immediately credited my account the difference between what I paid and what the sale price was.  Nordstrom's customer service is legendary.

Nine West Bayles
These are oldies but goodies for me, and even though they have a Western look, they are highly versatile.  I bought these a couple years ago, but Ebay always has these in both Black and Stone colors.  

I didn't even know that Ugg made boots like this.  But Marshall's had them several years ago. 

Nine West Miraculous booties
 These were super cheap from Lord and Taylor.  I paid $32 for these a couple months ago.  And this bluish-gray color is really cute when I want to lighten an ensemble up.

Nine West Blaze
I love the crackled leather on these boots.  It adds some character...

You all have seen these Sigerson Morrison beauties before.  An Ebay find.

While many thought the peeptoe bootie trend would fade several years ago, they have had staying power.  Do you have peeptoe booties, or would you buy a pair?  Let me know below...



If I am to believe all of the fashion magazines this summer, Sporty looks and Mesh are all the rage.  Perhaps that is why I was so drawn to this Mesh skirt and Mesh Bomber jacket by plus size superstar Calvin Klein.  While looking for something to wear to the Beyonce and Jay-Z On-the-Run Concert tour, I came across this wonderful set in white.  I loved it!  But, my sensibilities kicked in and I decided that white was not as practical as the black, so I purchased the black.  Although this is mesh, I can see myself wearing this all year round, even in the winter months with tights and boots as the skirt is lined.  I also plan to break this up to match with countless other clothing items.  And because this was purchased over the July 4th weekend at Macy's, with a WOW pass, this entire ensemble was under $100.  Not bad if I say so myself...

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